Although he is really calm but he punched on my head, I got frustrated and rang the police.
I just wanted to scare him.
but the police arrested him and took him away, I started to cry, they treated him like a criminal.
later that day he came back home, but didn't speak a world.
the next day I went to work, but 2 hours later I just felt really bad. and told my office that I had headache and I need to go home.
When I got home, I heard my husband talking to a Solicitor and arranging for an appointment to see them.
I just started to cry and said I didn't want that to happen. He said although he loves me but he doesn't like arguments and he doesn't want to end up to the jail.
but after all we deceided to work things out. But i feel really bad, our reputation has been damaged, neighbours and all this staff, and now he has acriminal recourdI feel really really bad, need some good advice.?
Ulagam has the best advice.
Your husband is deeply ashamed and alarmed by what he did. He is a peaceful man and never wants to do it again.
I fear that you might have driven him to it. I might be wrong, but it could well be that he is setting things up to divorce you. He cannot live with you and cannot live with himself if what you do or say drives him to this level of violence. In addition to your cruel comments, you betrayed him to the police.
If you want a reconciliation and to save your marriage, the solution is blunt. He must never ever hit you again, and you must never ever again drive him to it.
Then you are in a position to face the neighbours and the police together and united.I feel really really bad, need some good advice.?
I know it is tough but this has happened for a reason. Your husband has learned a valuable lesson. Sweetheart if you did not call the police then it would have happened again and then again. Now you put a stop to it so you will not have to live a life of an abused wife. You will live a happy peaceful life. I wish more woman would do what you did. Now stop wallowing and be proud of yourself. Think of this as a new beginning to a better marriage.
I'm really so sorry for you but do you realise all you have said is how sorry you are, not how sorry he feels for hitting you and there are no excuses for that. If you dont press charges he wont have a criminal record so thats not a problem but it should have been you on that telephone. He has hit you once are you sure he isn't going to hit you again...and again?
Grow the f**k up. Both of you. Stop the drama, its not worth it. If your relationship has reached such a volatile level and you are so spiteful to each other, what do you expect? My brother and his wife do that s**t and they have hurt their daughter so much. Sort yourselves out. I'm not judging. I'm telling you the truth.
Your a very selfish person. Crying about how he doesn't have money? What about you...do you work? And calling the police...thats a big deal--do it because he did something wrong not because you wanna play some stupid little game. Punching u was wrong i won't deny that though. Hopefully you two don't stay together if he's gonna abuse you and if your gonna play childish games and cause drama.
No crying over the spilt milk. How did you have the audacity to call up the police. You can tell the police that you are not pressing the charges. Consult the solicitor both of you and you can help his case by saying things in his favour.
no matter what you did or what you said he had no right to hit you he could have walked out till he and you cooled down.so don't feel bad he should be the one to feel bad maybe you both can sit down and talk and work things out but NEVER NEVER let him hit you that is wrong
Calm or not'; he punched you in the head! and you are crying saying you want him!!! he should have thought about his reputation before he punched you.
and seriously it's women like you who allow themselves to be treated like this that make people think it's okay.,
You did the right thing - he punched you in the head for goodness sake! What will he do next time? Stab you? Couples argue. It's normal. Physical abuse however is NOT normal and is never right. You should tell him to go ahead with the divorce.
Look, what is done is done. You guys screwed up. He should not have punched you, let alone in the head. Stop feeling badly - vow to move on by either fixing what is wrong or separating.
You have nothing to feel bad about!
Your husband punched you!
No matter how bad things get you should never hit a woman, especially the one you love!
He's playing along. He's still talking to the solicitors. Let him. You can only control your actions, not his.
Wow thats bad...
U did the right thing...but it seems like its 6 of one thing half a dozen of another...
U know u love him and he knows he loves you so im sure nomater what u can get thru it...!
Good luck hun!
GOLDDIGGER
And all because you didnt know when to shut the f*ck up. Bravo to you!
You should split up that's my advice. Things will only get worse . . .
Ummm...He punched you in the head and YOU feel bad?! Honey, don't be crazy, he was EXTREMELY out of line. So what if you nagged him about being broke, men hear that all the time....it doesn't give him the right to physically assault you. You did the RIGHT thing by having him arrested. He wouldn't have this criminal record if he has SELF CONTROL and respected you. If you still want to be with him for whatever reason, at least require that he get the therapy or meds he needs to control his anger and aggression. Make sure you'll be safe with him...I've actually heard of men hitting their wives over the head with bottles killing them...he could possible kill you in one of these arguments.
Jackie you feel bad and that's okay because your entitled to feel any way you want to in America, but also in America there is thing called Domestic Violence Act. Your husband has just learned a valuable lesson that you do not hit women period ...the end.
He better learn also that he cannot threaten you either because he can go back to jail.
You are protected by the laws of the State and your husband better catch up on his current events about Domestic Violence.
You are the victim here not him...so stop feeling sorry for him...he should feel sorry for Y O U !!!
Tell him I said so!
arguing over money again - this is why we live in a society with high divorce rates, low marriages, high single mums, bad parenting etc etc, truth be told, myself included, we are all selfish because of our insistance of 'keeping up with the jones's....'
of course they were going to arrest your husband - you reported him, what did you expect them to do? couples argue - humans fight - i'm not one for 'oh, he hit me, it's domestic abuse' - domestic abuse is a lot more than one fight - it ruins a person completly over time - i don't think from the sound of it that you or he is in that category
well, you're going to have to decide what to do next, may i suggest that talking would be a good start?
First of all...don't worry about your neighbours, or work colleagues....these people don't put the bread and butter on your table...your husband shouldn't put his hands on you and you should not be causing trouble about a holiday...you both need to get your priorities right...and that is your marriage...you need to work on it..every day, every week, every month, every year...a good marriage doesn't just happen it has to be worked on...if you are trying to sort things out then you need to learn to communicate...feeling really bad is only natural and I'm sure your husband feels bad also..but you need to put all this behind you and start fresh..COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE.
If you press charges it becomes a criminal offence. They do ask if them wish to have a solicitor and your husband obviously wants to find out where he stands legally.
Talk to him and found out what you both want next, it's a warning for you both that if you don;t talk to each other the situation will just rapidly deteriorate.
Why are you worrying about what your friend is getting - you didn't marry him so stop complaining and enjoy your life. At least you have a man to look after you - don't be so self absorbed!
Your initial moaning about his inability to provide you with the things you want (not need!) was insensitive jealousy of your friend. You don't say he is lazy or feckless and so I imagine he is doing his best to provide everything you NEED - but not quite managing everything you WANT - there is an enormous difference between need and want. So be a bit more reasonable.
BUT he punched you in the head - which is a 100% unacceptable response in any circumstances (except self-defence if being attacked physically!).
Your husband is thinking of running away from the problem - which is one solution and maybe in the end he will need to leave but not as a first response.
First you two need to talk it all through and you probably need to have some help from a Mariage Guidance Counsellor.
Try to get him down that line - but also have a care for yourself because such a violent response is worrying.
Good luck
Not content with physically assaulting you, your husband is now emotionally blackmailing you by threatening to go see a solicitor ?
Nice husband you have there hunni, don't feel guilty he had no right to slap you, let alone punch you in the head, in my opinion you were perfectly justified in calling the police on him. He deserved everything he encountered, it might teach him a valuable lesson. You're his wife, not his punch bag !
You stood up for yourself %26amp; showed him that he can't treat you in that way %26amp; get away with it %26amp; I see nothing wrong with that, I would have done exactly the same thing %26amp; then some !
You both need some counselling though if things are ever going to work out. You both need to learn how to communicate with each other %26amp; your husband needs anger management in order for him to stop being so physically aggressive towards you.
Don't feel guilty, it's what your husband wants, he knows you love him %26amp; he's playing on that. Perhaps a trialm seperation would be good for your relationship, as it might teach you both the value of marriage.
Good Luck hunni. X :-)
On the one hand, how very spoiled, shallow and petty of you to argue over not being taken on vacation and being bought nice stuff. How shallow!
On the other hand, SHAME ON HIM. To punch you like that, over money, is UNFORGIVABLE.
Be GLAD that he has had the foresight to get a lawyer and pursue divorce. He hit you, he crossed the line. Once the line's been crossed, the line MOVES. The next time, he'll hit you more and worse. You cannot step back over that line.
He is, remarkably so, actually thinking about what is best for you by choosing to take himself out of a situation that is unhealthy, not only for his own freedom, but for your own safety.
Reputation be screwed: it doesn't matter. Nor, for that matter, does nice holidays and pretty stuff. None of that matters. The neighbors don't matter - heck, half of them have probably been through the same thing. The criminal record could potentially be mitigated through some sort of sentancing agreement, like anger management classes and stuff. But it is HIS criminal record, NOT yours, and it DOES NOT MATTER. He made the choice to hit you, that is the price he must pay.
Your safety - and his, too, frankly - is what matters. Let him go. Move on. That would be the loving thing to do.
you did the right thing, so don't feel bad, but I understand where your coming from. 1st and foremost, forget about your neighbors(worring about everyone else is what got you into this jam in the 1st place). If your neighbors are human, they've gotten into fights with thier significant other as well(maybe not physical, but still). 2nd, the worst thing you can do to a man is make him feel insignificant, like his efforts aren't enough. I'm sure if he had the money or had an respectable way in getting the money, he would spoil you. Everyman wants to feel like the 'man' and spoil the woman he loves. You throwing his inability to do that in his face is no good for your marraige. However, testoterone or not he should of kept his hands to himself. If you guys are like me you probably can't afford a counselor even though your marraige will truly benefit from it cuz it sounds like hubby can use some anger management and wifey can use some inner peace and lessons on not trying to keep up with the jones. If you have can, i suggest talking with your pastor, atleast just to get an unbias opinion, but don't expect your husband to be all happy go lucky about it.
You know your husband better than any of us. Sit down and talk with him. Real talk, lay it all out on the table. Here's the thing, whateva you guys decide, you have to stick with it. So no more of 'what i don't have' and focus more on what you have. Your friends' husband may be able to buy them nice things, but you don't know what's missing in their relationship. Some of them may have to sacrifice monogamy and fidelity for their Prada purse. You need to decide what's more important and your husband needs to find other ways to express his anger cuz punching on you ain't gonna cut it.
Try to make him see that you just got caught up and lost focus. However, if this isn't his first time hitting you, then you should already know it's not worth saving and let it go no matter how much it hurts. Time will heal a broken heart and hurt feeling everytime, but there are no 2nd chances on life. So you decide who's more important you or him. Good luck to g/f, I know you're going thru difficult times.
solicitor as in prostitute or appliance salesman? if prostitute, then get rid of him
This is coming from a fellow woman's point of view:
Well, that was stupid on your part.
You shouldnt have been fighting with him for not making enough money. That isnt his fault, and he is trying to provide for you. If it means that much to you to go on a holiday, then YOU should make more money. Or, you could stop eating, and save all of your grocery money.
You challenged his manhood, and deserved to be punched in the head. He feels like he isnt worth anything anymore.
He will eventually cool down, but how the hell did you not know the police were going to arrest him? If you were never going to file charges, than you should not have wasted the police's time. You are not a very good wife, and I dont blame him for wanting to leave you.
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