im female and i have a girlfriend, and i love to please her sexually day and night, i love to hear her sexually. icant get enough of her in that matter so its all good, it turns me on for her to be a little controlling towards me, anyway she had a business trip and i went with her, i dont work , she doesnt want me too. anyway we had a fight one morning of the trip. and when she went to work , i went to the bar and just started drinking and this woman started flirting with me and one thing led to another but i did not go down on her, and i feel so bad because my woman is out making us money and look what i did,, i cant loose my woman, i am infatuated with her, i mean in love. and i cant tell her, that other woman did not mean a thing to me, i just had to much to drink and look what happened,, my girlfriend would never find out. but i dont want to take the chance of another big fight and loosing her, but i feel guilt, i love her so much, it was just the alcohol.. but would she understand that, i dont think so. what would you do iff you were her or me,, man i messed upI need some advice, i messed up bad?
You did wrong. You need to confess and take the consequences.I need some advice, i messed up bad?
Well, I would stop going to bars and getting so drunk that you cheat on your gf. Buy her something nice that she would like and tell her how much you love her. That will help to clear your conscience. Resolve to never let it happen again. I would not tell your gf about it if I were you. I would be mad if I found out my gf cuddled with someone else.
own up to it. Tell her that after the fight you felt bad and went to a bar and met someone. Tell her what you did. Things will be rough for awhile, but it could still turn around.
Don't tell her.
No matter how many other people here are telling you to face the consequences, don't.
If you tell her, she will leave you and that'll be the end of that. So how will that help you?
I DONT GET WHEN PPL SAY ALCOHOL CAN ';MAKE'; PPL DO SOMETHING,
you need to tell her and assure her that no amount of alcohol could make you do that again
Friday, November 25, 2011
I need advice bad?
I was drinking the other night and um... my boyfriend left for a while and i was with his best friend and we were talking about how hot each other were and he says i told him i think about him when me and my boyfriend fight (i dont remember that tho) so i told my bf and hes acting all weird.I really love him alot though and i dont want us to break up. what else can i do to show him that i love him and im sorry? PLEASE HELP!!!!!I need advice bad?
Make him feel secure
Make him feel secure
OK so I screwed up an ancient artifact due to bad advice I paid for how do I stop this company?
they are selling kits with ancient artifacts on how to clean them but the fact is it turns out your NEVER suppost to clean artifactsOK so I screwed up an ancient artifact due to bad advice I paid for how do I stop this company?
Just get your knowledge out there. Post and talk about to whoever is willing to listen. You can't sue them, it's your own fault for doing it, you should look into things before you do them.OK so I screwed up an ancient artifact due to bad advice I paid for how do I stop this company?
all you can do is spread bad press, and alert the better business bureau
sue them
Complain to the company owner, and i guess start awarness and spread the word?
Just get your knowledge out there. Post and talk about to whoever is willing to listen. You can't sue them, it's your own fault for doing it, you should look into things before you do them.OK so I screwed up an ancient artifact due to bad advice I paid for how do I stop this company?
all you can do is spread bad press, and alert the better business bureau
sue them
Complain to the company owner, and i guess start awarness and spread the word?
Please give me advice...My friend has bad hygeine?
My friend has bad hygeine.....?
She always seems to have stinky breath and i dont think she showers much becasuse her hair is greasy.
I love her cause she one of my closest friends and would never dream of huting her feelings so i dont know what to do about it. We were at a sleepover and she didnt wash her face or anything so all our friends think she has really bad hygeine. Im not making a big deal of it , its gone on for ages now and its just little things like at school she doesnt wash her hands sometimes.
Its embarasin for me becasue sometimes she smells and people could think its me. Also some of our friends invite me somewhere and leave her out and i dont know what to say to her about it . AND my best friend doesnt like her becasue of it so im in the middle all the time.
Does anyone know what i can do , its a big problem now and i dont want to just come out and tell her , because it would make her feel bad.Please give me advice...My friend has bad hygeine?
I had the same exact problem, and didn't know what to do either.
I told my mom about it and she took me to the dollar store, we got a cute basket and filled it with all kinds of soaps, shampoos, and girly things like brushes, hair scrunchies, and lotions. This is a nice inexpensive way of dealing with the problem. If you put other items in the basket, like lotions etc, you're not being rude and flat out saying HEY GIRL YOU STINK.
I guarantee she'll love it, just tell her its a gift for being such a great friend :)
My friend loved her little goody basket, and she actually used everything.
I hope this helps, don't listen to what everyone else is saying, I don't think you should tell her she needs to take a shower. She might get offended. Take the nicer route.
Good Luck! :)Please give me advice...My friend has bad hygeine?
give her some new soaps like from bath and body that smell really good. and maybe some hand sanitizer and say its a gift for being an awesome friend. Also next time you have a sleepover say ';lets go brush out teeth';, right b4 bed and stuff like that so she has to clean herself too. Also say stuff like ';should i take a shower FIRST or should u';, that implies she also will be taking a shower :D
hope i helped
Maybe you could give her a gum or mint and tell her it taste good. Then tell her if she wants to have pool party with only you. ( add a bit of good smelling soap in in) and see if it is just because she doesn't clean up or it's just the way she would regularly smell. Talk to her and tell her. That is anther way to solve this. Be truthful and she will understand. Good LUCk
it is a tough subject but in a way u do need to take her aside in priv so u wont embarrase her and say i relly love u but can u try to clean a bit more cos ppl are noticing and i dont want u embarrased because of it.
im sure u can think a better way of saying it. she will thank u for it. i would b glad som1 telling me outstraight. its like coming out of loo with tolilet paper stuck to u, wouldnt u want to b told? lol
gl
offer her a piece of gum or a mint and say its really good she has to try it.
then for the shower say like i wanna do your hair sometime and then maybe she will like it and want to actually do it herself because she looked pretty
a good friend is one that tells the truth however bad-say that to her and see how she reacts- if she agrees then tell her the truth
Go and have a talk with her. By not letting her to know about her flaws, you are indirectly harming her....
So its better that you tell her about this........
A good friend should sit her down and tell her what u observe in her, maybe she would be happy when u tell her ur problem about her body.
Say something like ';im gonna take a shower before we leave... you want in before me or after?'; it kinda puts some pressure on her so that she feels like she really shouldn't refuse but it also makes it seem like your not commenting on her icky hair. You could also tell her that's shes gotta take a shower to check out this totally amazing shampoo that you just got and that it works great and makes your hair so soft. Try the same thing with face wash and soap and maybe hand sanitizer.
I think you should invite her over for some ';pampering'; and then give her some soaps and stuff to wash her face with and give her a facial and teach her how to use it and explain why it's good to use it. She probably doesn't know what to use as far as her skin care goes, or how to use it. She probably just needs help.
And then try to encourage her by giving her tips on other products she should try, like a body wash that makes your skin smooth, and a good shampoo, etc.
Then afterward, follow up with asking her how she liked them, etc.
I think if you call it ';pampering'; instead of ';me teaching you how to not stink'; it will go over well. haha
Good luck!!!
You say you are her friend? Friends help each other. There is no ';easy way'; to tell someone they need to use better hygiene, so just tell her she needs to wash her body and clean her mouth. Most people cannot smell their own bad breath so it is possible she does not know she is offending others. As she matures into adulthood her body will start to produce various odors that can offend other people. She needs to understand that she needs to attend to such things as she matures. A friend will help a friend.
Bad breath is caused by bacteria in the mouth, especially on the tongue and especially on the back one-third of the tongue. This material must be removed to cure bad breath. Mints and gum will cover up bad breath for a short time but they will not cure bad breath because they do nothing about the bacteria on the tongue. I use OraBrush tongue cleaner because it is the best tongue cleaner. My wife tells me I have kissing sweet breath.
Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you are not trying to be mean but you don't like what other people are saying about her and tell her. Maybe she wasn't taught how to keep her body clean as you have. show her some of the things you use to smell good and maybe she'll want to clean herself up better. Or you can buy her a gift set of good smelling stuff and give it to her when you tell her. I think she rather hear it from you, her friend, than someone else teasing her about it.make up
She always seems to have stinky breath and i dont think she showers much becasuse her hair is greasy.
I love her cause she one of my closest friends and would never dream of huting her feelings so i dont know what to do about it. We were at a sleepover and she didnt wash her face or anything so all our friends think she has really bad hygeine. Im not making a big deal of it , its gone on for ages now and its just little things like at school she doesnt wash her hands sometimes.
Its embarasin for me becasue sometimes she smells and people could think its me. Also some of our friends invite me somewhere and leave her out and i dont know what to say to her about it . AND my best friend doesnt like her becasue of it so im in the middle all the time.
Does anyone know what i can do , its a big problem now and i dont want to just come out and tell her , because it would make her feel bad.Please give me advice...My friend has bad hygeine?
I had the same exact problem, and didn't know what to do either.
I told my mom about it and she took me to the dollar store, we got a cute basket and filled it with all kinds of soaps, shampoos, and girly things like brushes, hair scrunchies, and lotions. This is a nice inexpensive way of dealing with the problem. If you put other items in the basket, like lotions etc, you're not being rude and flat out saying HEY GIRL YOU STINK.
I guarantee she'll love it, just tell her its a gift for being such a great friend :)
My friend loved her little goody basket, and she actually used everything.
I hope this helps, don't listen to what everyone else is saying, I don't think you should tell her she needs to take a shower. She might get offended. Take the nicer route.
Good Luck! :)Please give me advice...My friend has bad hygeine?
give her some new soaps like from bath and body that smell really good. and maybe some hand sanitizer and say its a gift for being an awesome friend. Also next time you have a sleepover say ';lets go brush out teeth';, right b4 bed and stuff like that so she has to clean herself too. Also say stuff like ';should i take a shower FIRST or should u';, that implies she also will be taking a shower :D
hope i helped
Maybe you could give her a gum or mint and tell her it taste good. Then tell her if she wants to have pool party with only you. ( add a bit of good smelling soap in in) and see if it is just because she doesn't clean up or it's just the way she would regularly smell. Talk to her and tell her. That is anther way to solve this. Be truthful and she will understand. Good LUCk
it is a tough subject but in a way u do need to take her aside in priv so u wont embarrase her and say i relly love u but can u try to clean a bit more cos ppl are noticing and i dont want u embarrased because of it.
im sure u can think a better way of saying it. she will thank u for it. i would b glad som1 telling me outstraight. its like coming out of loo with tolilet paper stuck to u, wouldnt u want to b told? lol
gl
offer her a piece of gum or a mint and say its really good she has to try it.
then for the shower say like i wanna do your hair sometime and then maybe she will like it and want to actually do it herself because she looked pretty
a good friend is one that tells the truth however bad-say that to her and see how she reacts- if she agrees then tell her the truth
Go and have a talk with her. By not letting her to know about her flaws, you are indirectly harming her....
So its better that you tell her about this........
A good friend should sit her down and tell her what u observe in her, maybe she would be happy when u tell her ur problem about her body.
Say something like ';im gonna take a shower before we leave... you want in before me or after?'; it kinda puts some pressure on her so that she feels like she really shouldn't refuse but it also makes it seem like your not commenting on her icky hair. You could also tell her that's shes gotta take a shower to check out this totally amazing shampoo that you just got and that it works great and makes your hair so soft. Try the same thing with face wash and soap and maybe hand sanitizer.
I think you should invite her over for some ';pampering'; and then give her some soaps and stuff to wash her face with and give her a facial and teach her how to use it and explain why it's good to use it. She probably doesn't know what to use as far as her skin care goes, or how to use it. She probably just needs help.
And then try to encourage her by giving her tips on other products she should try, like a body wash that makes your skin smooth, and a good shampoo, etc.
Then afterward, follow up with asking her how she liked them, etc.
I think if you call it ';pampering'; instead of ';me teaching you how to not stink'; it will go over well. haha
Good luck!!!
You say you are her friend? Friends help each other. There is no ';easy way'; to tell someone they need to use better hygiene, so just tell her she needs to wash her body and clean her mouth. Most people cannot smell their own bad breath so it is possible she does not know she is offending others. As she matures into adulthood her body will start to produce various odors that can offend other people. She needs to understand that she needs to attend to such things as she matures. A friend will help a friend.
Bad breath is caused by bacteria in the mouth, especially on the tongue and especially on the back one-third of the tongue. This material must be removed to cure bad breath. Mints and gum will cover up bad breath for a short time but they will not cure bad breath because they do nothing about the bacteria on the tongue. I use OraBrush tongue cleaner because it is the best tongue cleaner. My wife tells me I have kissing sweet breath.
Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you are not trying to be mean but you don't like what other people are saying about her and tell her. Maybe she wasn't taught how to keep her body clean as you have. show her some of the things you use to smell good and maybe she'll want to clean herself up better. Or you can buy her a gift set of good smelling stuff and give it to her when you tell her. I think she rather hear it from you, her friend, than someone else teasing her about it.
I need some advice or help really bad?
ok im gona say everything all at once
i want love, i want someone to love, i want to be loved by someone,but i cant find love. also have you ever wanted to cry realy bad but you just cant?? thats how i have been feeling for quite a while now. i felt like all of this about say a year ago, but also thats when i had a big crush and they didnt love me back like that... anyways i got over it later on. now all these feelings have come back to me and there is noone i have a crush on or love like that, im just looking for it, and i want to cry but i cant. and also im having trouble knowing if im bi or a lesbian (i already posted a question about that but i dont think i even want to kiss a guy now). anyways ive just been realy confused lately and i dont know what to do, or who to turn to for help and advice. please someone help me this is all driving me crazy!!I need some advice or help really bad?
Love can find you my friend, please never give up the search in looking for your partner.
Keep looking and keep believing there is a time when i used to feel exactly as you feel now, but stay strong and hold on ....
You're going to find your future, it just takes a little time.
Have faith in destiny, i wish you all the very best for the future.I need some advice or help really bad?
I think your Bi. Second stop looking for love and let love happen. If you look for it, it might not come out. I find that when you stop looking for love, it finds you. You will find love all in due time. But for now look for better work or do better in school for your self and let love find you. It might be there and you are not even seeing it. Good luck and I'm sure love will come your way.
INTERNET DATING! or just settle for anyone
i'm well up for some love ;)
i want love, i want someone to love, i want to be loved by someone,but i cant find love. also have you ever wanted to cry realy bad but you just cant?? thats how i have been feeling for quite a while now. i felt like all of this about say a year ago, but also thats when i had a big crush and they didnt love me back like that... anyways i got over it later on. now all these feelings have come back to me and there is noone i have a crush on or love like that, im just looking for it, and i want to cry but i cant. and also im having trouble knowing if im bi or a lesbian (i already posted a question about that but i dont think i even want to kiss a guy now). anyways ive just been realy confused lately and i dont know what to do, or who to turn to for help and advice. please someone help me this is all driving me crazy!!I need some advice or help really bad?
Love can find you my friend, please never give up the search in looking for your partner.
Keep looking and keep believing there is a time when i used to feel exactly as you feel now, but stay strong and hold on ....
You're going to find your future, it just takes a little time.
Have faith in destiny, i wish you all the very best for the future.I need some advice or help really bad?
I think your Bi. Second stop looking for love and let love happen. If you look for it, it might not come out. I find that when you stop looking for love, it finds you. You will find love all in due time. But for now look for better work or do better in school for your self and let love find you. It might be there and you are not even seeing it. Good luck and I'm sure love will come your way.
INTERNET DATING! or just settle for anyone
i'm well up for some love ;)
Need some friend advice...am I a bad person because I feel like this? (read details!)?
So I lived with three of my friends last year. We all shared an apartment on-campus. Before then I was really looking forward to it and thinking how much fun it was going to be.
First few months were great...just like the old times.
I would say by Winter break...things got different:
One friend became more of a *****bag as time went on. Not particularly towards me but in general. He was the guy who made those jokes that seemed dangerously close to crossing the line. I never knew he was THAT bad before I started living with him.
Another friend hung out with previously-mentioned friend a lot more and slowly also changed. This one was more of one day of being a jerk to next day being a great friend. With this one if I said something...stupid (who doesn't), he would literally put me down for saying it. I never felt anymore dumber. Then the next day it would be like if we were best friends again.
Finally, this friend was one friend who helped me get through some tough times. Same thing applies like the other two, but I could not classify him as an ***hole, he wasn't as big of a jerk as the other two. But the thing is... he was all about ';talk to me if you have any problems';. Which is fine...but he made it really awkward to talk to him. I mean he was dead silent in the room (but would go out and be his normal self) and would give me a weird look if I asked him how his day was or anything. I could never tell if he was mad at me, or something was wrong...nothing!
So as I hope you can see, the saying ';You don't know someone until you live with them'; certainly applies here. I use to enjoy just hanging out with them. It was fun, we all had good times. Living with them only brought out their bad sides.
Quite frankly I wouldn't want to live with them again, but I don't feel it necessary to break the friendship. I feel more as if I just need a break from them...which is what I am doing. I have big plans for July and I feel stuff like that will in essence...rejuvinate me lol.
This year I will be living in a house off-campus with 4 strangers. In a way I am looking forward to it, since it's a change.
Am I a bad person for feeling this way?
(Yes I know no one is perfect, hence the hesitation to break the friendships for good)Need some friend advice...am I a bad person because I feel like this? (read details!)?
You have made very mature decisions. Don't feel bad just make the relationship with ';the boys'; how you want it. You're doing just that so GOOD JOB!
First few months were great...just like the old times.
I would say by Winter break...things got different:
One friend became more of a *****bag as time went on. Not particularly towards me but in general. He was the guy who made those jokes that seemed dangerously close to crossing the line. I never knew he was THAT bad before I started living with him.
Another friend hung out with previously-mentioned friend a lot more and slowly also changed. This one was more of one day of being a jerk to next day being a great friend. With this one if I said something...stupid (who doesn't), he would literally put me down for saying it. I never felt anymore dumber. Then the next day it would be like if we were best friends again.
Finally, this friend was one friend who helped me get through some tough times. Same thing applies like the other two, but I could not classify him as an ***hole, he wasn't as big of a jerk as the other two. But the thing is... he was all about ';talk to me if you have any problems';. Which is fine...but he made it really awkward to talk to him. I mean he was dead silent in the room (but would go out and be his normal self) and would give me a weird look if I asked him how his day was or anything. I could never tell if he was mad at me, or something was wrong...nothing!
So as I hope you can see, the saying ';You don't know someone until you live with them'; certainly applies here. I use to enjoy just hanging out with them. It was fun, we all had good times. Living with them only brought out their bad sides.
Quite frankly I wouldn't want to live with them again, but I don't feel it necessary to break the friendship. I feel more as if I just need a break from them...which is what I am doing. I have big plans for July and I feel stuff like that will in essence...rejuvinate me lol.
This year I will be living in a house off-campus with 4 strangers. In a way I am looking forward to it, since it's a change.
Am I a bad person for feeling this way?
(Yes I know no one is perfect, hence the hesitation to break the friendships for good)Need some friend advice...am I a bad person because I feel like this? (read details!)?
You have made very mature decisions. Don't feel bad just make the relationship with ';the boys'; how you want it. You're doing just that so GOOD JOB!
I need some advice on a very bad behaved & disturbed child?
My housemate has a 7 yo boy who has the worst behaviour I have ever seen in a child. Everybody does notice that he behaves very well with me and shows a lot of respect towards me as he doesn't swear at me like he does his father %26amp; fathers friends and he also chucks terrible tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. This is very distressing to me as his father does not deal with it very well, his swearing is his fathers fault as he swears directly at him which I've asked him to stop %26amp; he has improved unlike his son. So when the boy throws his tantrum he screams %26amp; yells %26amp; kicks %26amp; swears %26amp; throws things and gets so angry %26amp; worked up he almost busts. A couple times I've calmed him down, by being calm myself %26amp; asking him what he wants me to do and eventually he calms down unlike when his father yells at him to shut up %26amp; stop being stupid, this does nothing but make him angrier. Recently I could not stop his tantrum, he knocked his knee which made it bleed and he screamed %26amp; screamed %26amp; hit his dad %26amp; told him to get out. I went into his room to ask if he was ok %26amp; he threw lollies at me %26amp; told me to get out, he was yelling so hard he looked like he was going to pop his eyeball out, its very distressing to see a young boy do this to himself, i just want to help him. Also I've noticed he does not deal with pain very well %26amp; freaks out if somebody hurts themselves and when you tell him to come here you want to show him something he always asks ';is it gonna hurt';. What is the best way to handle this I feel walking away when he throws a tantrum is not achieving anything but I know this behaviour needs to be ignored. Please keep in mind his father has him every weekend Friday after school until Sunday late afternoon where he then goes back to his mothers. He sleeps in the same bed with his father (queen bed), he is allowed to watch war movies like platoon and scary movies like blade, his toys all consist of weapons like guns %26amp; swords (plastic) %26amp; his games consist of being in the war %26amp; I wont even get into the terrible racist talk that comes out of his mouth. I have grown close to this boy %26amp; I know he trusts me, I feel so sorry for him because his father can only show his love through buying him toys all the time %26amp; not good toys he lives in front of his playstation all weekend playing war games %26amp; yes i know it just keeps getting worst. Any advise on how to deal with this %26amp; what you think I should do would be much appreciated. one last thing i forgot to mention, one night when i asked his father to just leave me with him (he was throwing a tantrum %26amp; his father tends to make the situation worst) when he calmed down out of the blue very unexpected he asked me ';why do I do that, why do I get so angry, i dont want to be like that';, it broke my heart but made me realise it is definitely a serious problem %26amp; i'm worried he may need professional help if it's something he cant control. Last this I want to also point out, he is also afraid of the dark %26amp; his father always leaves the light on outside the bedroom for him because if he assumes he is asleep %26amp; he turns the light out, he will scream %26amp; scream until there is light. I need some advice on a very bad behaved %26amp; disturbed child?
DAMN...
WELL I THINK U SHOULD SET UP SUM FUN RULES MY MOM CALLS THEM EX: EVERYTIME HE DOES SUMTHIN GOOD HE GETS A STAR AND IF HE DOES SUMTHIN BAD TAKE ONE AWAY... ITS BEST TO TRY AND KEEP HIM BUSY LIKE COLORING WATCHIN MOVIES OR JUS PLAYIN FUN GAMES..
THE DAD SHOULD TRY TO STOP THE SWEARIN AROUND HIM... IT MIGHT BE HARD AT FIRST BUT IF U EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT HE REPECTS WHAT HE HEAR THEN IT MIGHT HELP... ALSO IF HE DOES SUMTHIN BAD TRY TIMEOUT FOR 7-10MINS..
MAKE FUN SNACKS WITH HIM HE MIGHT LIKE THAT... AND AS FAR AS THE DARK THING GOES IT BEST TO GET LIKE 2 OR 3 NITE LIGHTS FOR HE'S ROOM...
TRY TALKING TO HIS FATHER ABOUT BUYIN SO MANY THINGS IF HIS DAD SPEND MORE TIME DOIN THINGS WITH HIM HE WILL SAVE MONEY..
IT GOOD THAT HE TRUST YOU BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE MUCH EASIER TO TRY THESE THINGS...
HOPED I HELPI need some advice on a very bad behaved %26amp; disturbed child?
Take him to a psychiatrist. He may be suffering from a mood disorder(Bipolar). Have him evaluated.
this kid needs to see a therapist, thats all i have to say. your doing a great job but honestly i think only a professional can solve this problem
There is nothing you can do unless you can get new parents for the kid. Where is the mother? What is she doing to help?
The kid needs STRONG discipline (which can't come from you because you're not authorized to make rules and enforce them) and he also needs STRUCTURE where he knows what will happen at what time. He needs CONSISTENCY and parents who work together to make RULES and ENFORCE them as a united front.
This kid sounds like he is going to grow up with very little self discipline, very little coping skills, and once puberty hits and hormones come, he will be ill equiped to delay gratification and do the things he should, like focus on studies and say no to temptations, etc. Drugs may be a problem too. This kid needs to be consistently disciplined NOW before it gets so bad that he is taken to a psychiatrist, gets put on meds, and gets used to external chemicals in order to function. Sad start, I see a lot of kids like this, and 95% of the time it's the parents being selfish and focusing on themselves instead of the best interest of the child. Bringing up children is HARD and it takes sacrifice from the parents and consistent discipline... kids will be wild otherwise if there is no strong force that is more powerful.
The problem is his daddy. This boy needs more attention and love from him. Tantrums are the ultimate attention seeker and if they only happened occasionally, telling him to be quiet and go to his room is fine, but if it is every weekend, then dad needs to start spending time with his son. Special events, reading to him, and playing with all those toys together. I think that will get to the root of his problem. I do not think that the movies and toys are affecting him nearly as much as being ignored by his father.
Being afraid of the dark is somewhat common. A nightlight in the room on the kids side of the bed should solve the screaming issue.
this all happens because the father allows it. As the non parent there is not a whole lot you can do. As he is well behaved with you it shows he can control himself. He knows he can get away with his bad behaviour , so does. Ignore the tantrums, walk away and pay no attention.
The child probably does NOT need a therapist because he CAN and DOES control himself when he is with you.
What the boy needs is consistent discipline and two parents who are setting good examples for him. He needs the violence taken out of his world: We do what we see done. We say what we hear spoken. (There's no big mystery about that. Think of how a baby learns to do things.)
As far as his being afraid of the dark, it's quite understandable, considering what he is seeing on TV, videos, etc. And it is not unusual for a child that age to be afraid of the dark anyway. Leaving the light on will not hurt anything.
I applaud you for your concern and assistance to him. Unfortunately, there is little more you can do, except what you are and have been doing already. But there is a chance if you can stay close to him until he is around 8 or 9 years old--that's about when a boy can start thinking abstractly--that you can encourage him to be a gentleman. Use a gentlemanly 'hero' of some kind that he admires--if you can find one.
God bless you for caring what happens to him. He surely needs someone who cares what kind of man he grows up to be. Oh, and pray for him. It really does change things. Just try it and see.
Good luck.
if he has the ability to calm down with you and behave differently with you then it shows that he is choosing to behave badly with his parents. however the problem comes in when his parents are not using strategies to help. the only thing that will help this child is to change the environment with his parents.
they all need counseling in order to learn how to deal with him and themselves. I really believe this child can control most of his behaviors but the parents are letting it escalate and not only that but it seems like they turn the other way and when it gets out control they get angry and it escalates even further from there.
yep, they all need help for this to change but your desire to help is courageous.
I think the behavior of his father could have done damage to his mind. You should try to get complete custody of him, because his question of ';is it going to hurt?'; suggests that his father may have been abusing him. It seems that his father is not fit to have control of this child even for a weekend.
The problem isn't the fault of the child. Obviously the child's father obviously has never disciplined the child other than scream and yell and shout obscenities at the boy. A child's most important teachers of their lives are their parents and the child is simply behaving in a manner that he was taught. And obviously this child's father has no desire to change his ways so the child isn't going to change. You need to talk to the father and get him to STOP enabling the problem, otherwise this will just escalate and considering that you are of no relation to the boy you really have no right disciplining him anyway. (You are not a parent of this child or even step parent you are as you said simply a Housemate of his father's)
Sounds like the father is the problem, The child may also have some issues such as bipolar his actions may also be for attention even if it is negative attention. It's evident that the father doesn't do much with him but, it sounds like you don't have to much trouble calming him down. I wonder how he is at home with his mother as far as the lights go most kids are scared of the dark. Is this someone that you are with or is it a roommate. If you are with this guy I think you need to get away from him you might want to consider talking to someone in social services confidential of course they don't even have to know whom you are talking about, I'm sure they could steer you in the right direction and give you some good advice on the situation After all it sounds like you have this boys best interest at heart. Good Luck
DAMN...
WELL I THINK U SHOULD SET UP SUM FUN RULES MY MOM CALLS THEM EX: EVERYTIME HE DOES SUMTHIN GOOD HE GETS A STAR AND IF HE DOES SUMTHIN BAD TAKE ONE AWAY... ITS BEST TO TRY AND KEEP HIM BUSY LIKE COLORING WATCHIN MOVIES OR JUS PLAYIN FUN GAMES..
THE DAD SHOULD TRY TO STOP THE SWEARIN AROUND HIM... IT MIGHT BE HARD AT FIRST BUT IF U EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT HE REPECTS WHAT HE HEAR THEN IT MIGHT HELP... ALSO IF HE DOES SUMTHIN BAD TRY TIMEOUT FOR 7-10MINS..
MAKE FUN SNACKS WITH HIM HE MIGHT LIKE THAT... AND AS FAR AS THE DARK THING GOES IT BEST TO GET LIKE 2 OR 3 NITE LIGHTS FOR HE'S ROOM...
TRY TALKING TO HIS FATHER ABOUT BUYIN SO MANY THINGS IF HIS DAD SPEND MORE TIME DOIN THINGS WITH HIM HE WILL SAVE MONEY..
IT GOOD THAT HE TRUST YOU BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE MUCH EASIER TO TRY THESE THINGS...
HOPED I HELPI need some advice on a very bad behaved %26amp; disturbed child?
Take him to a psychiatrist. He may be suffering from a mood disorder(Bipolar). Have him evaluated.
this kid needs to see a therapist, thats all i have to say. your doing a great job but honestly i think only a professional can solve this problem
There is nothing you can do unless you can get new parents for the kid. Where is the mother? What is she doing to help?
The kid needs STRONG discipline (which can't come from you because you're not authorized to make rules and enforce them) and he also needs STRUCTURE where he knows what will happen at what time. He needs CONSISTENCY and parents who work together to make RULES and ENFORCE them as a united front.
This kid sounds like he is going to grow up with very little self discipline, very little coping skills, and once puberty hits and hormones come, he will be ill equiped to delay gratification and do the things he should, like focus on studies and say no to temptations, etc. Drugs may be a problem too. This kid needs to be consistently disciplined NOW before it gets so bad that he is taken to a psychiatrist, gets put on meds, and gets used to external chemicals in order to function. Sad start, I see a lot of kids like this, and 95% of the time it's the parents being selfish and focusing on themselves instead of the best interest of the child. Bringing up children is HARD and it takes sacrifice from the parents and consistent discipline... kids will be wild otherwise if there is no strong force that is more powerful.
The problem is his daddy. This boy needs more attention and love from him. Tantrums are the ultimate attention seeker and if they only happened occasionally, telling him to be quiet and go to his room is fine, but if it is every weekend, then dad needs to start spending time with his son. Special events, reading to him, and playing with all those toys together. I think that will get to the root of his problem. I do not think that the movies and toys are affecting him nearly as much as being ignored by his father.
Being afraid of the dark is somewhat common. A nightlight in the room on the kids side of the bed should solve the screaming issue.
this all happens because the father allows it. As the non parent there is not a whole lot you can do. As he is well behaved with you it shows he can control himself. He knows he can get away with his bad behaviour , so does. Ignore the tantrums, walk away and pay no attention.
The child probably does NOT need a therapist because he CAN and DOES control himself when he is with you.
What the boy needs is consistent discipline and two parents who are setting good examples for him. He needs the violence taken out of his world: We do what we see done. We say what we hear spoken. (There's no big mystery about that. Think of how a baby learns to do things.)
As far as his being afraid of the dark, it's quite understandable, considering what he is seeing on TV, videos, etc. And it is not unusual for a child that age to be afraid of the dark anyway. Leaving the light on will not hurt anything.
I applaud you for your concern and assistance to him. Unfortunately, there is little more you can do, except what you are and have been doing already. But there is a chance if you can stay close to him until he is around 8 or 9 years old--that's about when a boy can start thinking abstractly--that you can encourage him to be a gentleman. Use a gentlemanly 'hero' of some kind that he admires--if you can find one.
God bless you for caring what happens to him. He surely needs someone who cares what kind of man he grows up to be. Oh, and pray for him. It really does change things. Just try it and see.
Good luck.
if he has the ability to calm down with you and behave differently with you then it shows that he is choosing to behave badly with his parents. however the problem comes in when his parents are not using strategies to help. the only thing that will help this child is to change the environment with his parents.
they all need counseling in order to learn how to deal with him and themselves. I really believe this child can control most of his behaviors but the parents are letting it escalate and not only that but it seems like they turn the other way and when it gets out control they get angry and it escalates even further from there.
yep, they all need help for this to change but your desire to help is courageous.
I think the behavior of his father could have done damage to his mind. You should try to get complete custody of him, because his question of ';is it going to hurt?'; suggests that his father may have been abusing him. It seems that his father is not fit to have control of this child even for a weekend.
The problem isn't the fault of the child. Obviously the child's father obviously has never disciplined the child other than scream and yell and shout obscenities at the boy. A child's most important teachers of their lives are their parents and the child is simply behaving in a manner that he was taught. And obviously this child's father has no desire to change his ways so the child isn't going to change. You need to talk to the father and get him to STOP enabling the problem, otherwise this will just escalate and considering that you are of no relation to the boy you really have no right disciplining him anyway. (You are not a parent of this child or even step parent you are as you said simply a Housemate of his father's)
Sounds like the father is the problem, The child may also have some issues such as bipolar his actions may also be for attention even if it is negative attention. It's evident that the father doesn't do much with him but, it sounds like you don't have to much trouble calming him down. I wonder how he is at home with his mother as far as the lights go most kids are scared of the dark. Is this someone that you are with or is it a roommate. If you are with this guy I think you need to get away from him you might want to consider talking to someone in social services confidential of course they don't even have to know whom you are talking about, I'm sure they could steer you in the right direction and give you some good advice on the situation After all it sounds like you have this boys best interest at heart. Good Luck
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